Drowned in Lies.

He begged for being saved, for his help, although, he knew perfectly, like he knew the sky was blue in the morning, that he would not come, he would not help him, not this time; there was no salvation for him, and it was only his own fault. Nothing would bring his beloved boyfriend back, and it was all because of him. Entirely his fault. He was not there, hugging him on the winter nights anymore, because he was a coward, because he was weak when he didn’t trust anyone to talk about his own problems. He kept everything to himself, forgetting that he had an amazing boyfriend by his side, and now, he was all alone, on his own.

All he could think about was drawing. Draw to forget everything that he made, to forget how idiot and childish he was. How dumb was he for not even noticing how hard it was for his boyfriend? Didn’t he even thought about it? He didn’t, of course he didn’t. How did he even do that? He probably thought that it would be okay, that Sehun was fine, it was okay to hide… But it was not. Oh hurted himself, thinking that he wasn’t good enough, that Jongin didn’t believe in him anymore, but he did… He did it, for so many years, but… How could he believe in that, since Kim didn’t speak with him about anything? He was done, so done of everything. So done of feeling that way.

And now, he was there, he was dead. Sehun was dead and it was only Jongin’s fault. Tears fell down his face, rolling into his lips. Oh, so sad. It was such a sad view. His hands were shaking, but he insisted in take them into Sehun’s face, doing what he didn’t do for so many time; taking care of him, even if he has already passed away. “He’s problably in a better place…” he thought, once again, but… He missed him. He regretted everything. He hide himself into the papers, pens, pencils. He became a refugee of pills and drugs, just to forget… How selfish. He knew it was not right, and that all of it was because of him, although, he just tried to be happy. He just said that it was okay to keep it up… But it wasn’t.

It was raining on the outside. Thunders were showing of into the sky, ripping it apart like pieces of paper, and there he was, on his bathroom with his dead boyfriend by his side. Sehun’s hand was already cold, Jongin’s heart was starting to stop little by little… But it was not enough. Finally, he got up from the ground and picked up the pills he kept in his pocket. It was his last time breathing, and he was quite aware of it, but, if couldn’t feel Oh’s hands in the night, his body getting warm as he tried to do so in the cold night, there was no propose for Kim to keep living. He was done of it, sick oh this stingy and cruel life he was used to. Another thunder, another flash on the sky. Maybe it was the time, time to say goodbye to everything else and find his beloved boyfriend in another life, another place. Maybe it was time for him to say he’s sorry for everything that he as done.

And, wiping up his own tears, he took the pills, an entire bottle of them. He knew his end would come at any time, so, he just sat next to Sehun, grabbing his hand. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I made this to you, that you needed to end it all because of me. I’m a selfish bastard, I’m an idiot, I hope you can forgive me sometime, my love…” Soon enough, he felt his heart shaking, stopping little by little. His eyes started to be so heavy… It was already hard to keep awake, so, he just let them close… His end arrived, finally, taking with the rain water all the negative things. Even the sky was crying for that tragic end, but… Probably they’re better now, they’re together. Maybe Sehun has forgiven him for everything…

Their relationship has ended, because of a overdose.
An overdose caused by lies.

Notes

That's it, bye. xD <3